I Can't Help

Trudging through the trenches I got mud and bloodstains all over my boots
Nothing I can do to prevent this I only know how to be me you should try being you
Stomachs hardly full killer appetite your top ten looks like a menu
In the colosseum attacking as soon as someone enters
I'll have you praying and hoping someone to comes to the rescue
But they won't show I rather die a 1000 different ways then to ever be like them
The only way I'd have a ghost writer is if I died while writing and my pen became possessed
I swear that these hate and love things are starting to share a resemblance
Half the time IDK what family is and I don't honestly care where all my friends went
None are needed please remain seated keep your hands and feet in as the speed increases
In the mind of a mad genius my rhymes be giving these pads the business
I swear for the love of the mic I'll shed blood and bleed
Self inflicted though I can't be seen with the wool over their eyes somebody grab the shears for these sheep
I spit like I have no immune system I can't seem to shake this sickness
Don't worry it's not contagious even though I'm iller than the most recent dead patient
Never tripping I got that tightrope balance pistol makes your whole team do the mannequin challenge
Y'all families can get a discount by digging one big hole throwing y'all in and standing around it

I can't help who I am why do you want me to change
Will anyone understand or am I stuck in my ways
Your life can not be planned the path is already paved
I shout as loud as I can nobody here's what I say
I must've lost my mind a long time ago
Spent most of my time in a cloud of smoke
Can't tell me something I already know
There is no saving give up on all hope

I can no longer be the one who always gets the blame we all have our evil ways
I've done seen so many switching up in a day can't seem to find the key for this cage
But I've planned my escape and I've left a hand grenade pin on every page I've laid a pen upon
A lake or pond is where you'll be raised by dawn at the top of the rap food chain I could chew you all
Bars hit like your heads stuck in a plastic bag catching uppercuts to the abdomen
I'm under attack stress panic and anxiety has their nails matched into my back
And if I die young my loneliness will be the main suspect you're neglect I can accept
But not the hatred I'm sitting in silence wait g for my illness to take effect
I know you're not worried anyway but that's alright cuz I'm going to be ok
I'll always keep my chin raised no matter how long these dark clouds stay
Can't tell you how many times I've woke up wishing I didn't wanting to die!
But now seeing my sons smile pushes me to make sure that I stay alive!
None of these new rap kids show potential don't you ask for my credentials
I'll have them checking your dentals after I'm finished pressing these pencils
Is it the liquor or brew maybe it's the sticky icky whew IDK
I haven't cursed yet so here's a perfect time for a FUCK YOU!

I can't help who I am why do you want me to change
Will anyone understand or am I stuck in my ways
Your life can not be planned the path is already paved
I shout as loud as I can nobody here's what I say
I must've lost my mind a long time ago
Spent most of my time in a cloud of smoke
Can't tell me something I already know
There is no saving give up on all hope