Prince Abakaliki of Nigeria needs your help

I've cried in my room
On the nights my girlfriend wouldn't show me nudes
(x3)
I have cried in my room

You wouldn't show me nudes
Now I've got the homey blues
I know I'm just your e-boyfriend
But surely we can pretend that I'm there undressing you
Through this skype digital camera
Ladybird lock the doors and seal the parameter
Cause I'll be at my computer desk
A private show with only one viewer, check

I'm grinning, watching you with four eyes
Wishing you were showing just a little more thigh
And I won't tattle back to those cats on the message boards
That would only flag a private message war
You mind if I put this in my signature
And convert it into an ascii art type picture?
One of them with those funky little symbols
One that edits out your unflattering pimples

Baby girl you type so aggresively
But your breast size is impressing me
Have you ever played Diablo III
Cause you could join my guild and of course you'd ride for free
You should follow me on Twitter and I'll buy you that expansion
I'm getting paid as a babysitter
We could host an in-game picnic
Come closer to the screen so you can kiss this
Certainly this is safe sex
We don't have no need for no Dr. Lipschitz
I've never pressed a tape to a laser disc
But I still managed to make Nerdcore Now's list
You may have seen me on theneedledrop
But that's where my ego stops
I'm trying to get to know the real you
So tell me, what's the screen name reference
Do you have a particular font preference?

I'm the lonely projected dream of a teenage girl who watches Daria and fiends for a brave new world
My entire life is caught in the span of her naps
And I'm cursed to convey these thoughts over booms and baps
A persistent delusion is better than your reality
If I conjure to myself then I'll graciously accept a fallacy

I've cried in my room
On the nights my girlfriend wouldn't show me nudes
(x3)
I have cried in my room

Wouldn't even even even think about it now
Wouldn't even entertain the notion now
(x2)