Medley: Mess On Your Hands/Finger Rap/Mess On Your Hands (Reprise)/Finger Rap (Reprise)
Hello? Is this 69-29-369?
Well, I found this number on my telephone bill
And it was on there for 13 or 14 times
Oh, I see. So you must be the one he's talking to now!
Haha... I bet you think you done made the catch of a lifetime!
Well, you know what, I think there's some file information you need to know about
Oh yeah, I'm gonna tell you about it
The truth is a word that he never heard
You see, the man lies out of both sides of his mouth
"A lowdown and dirty" is putting it mild
Oh, but you're still gonna love him anyhow
Now, how do I know the man so well?
Well, before he was yours he was mine, can't you tell?
I can say a lot, some of these things might even get you hot
But ma'am, you sure got a mess on your hand
(Shit's on your fingers)
That's right, a mess on your hand
You don't understand what that means?
Well, a mess on your hands mean you've... (shit's on your fingers)
Kind of... stuck your hands in some shit!
Understand that? (doo on your fingers) oh, I see
You know, you don't sound like the everyday person I talk to
You remind me of one of those... college grads, or something
Would you, by the way, be one of those?
Well, I figured that out, because you didn't know what "mess on your hands" meant
(This is on your fingers)
Oh, you understand what it means now?
(Shit's on your fingers)
You know what? You do wonders for my ego
It's so nice talking to you
I-I really can't believe, that anyone in this day and age
Could... (shit's on your fingers) be so naive
Miss, do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?
Look: I know I really should not waste my time on doing this
(Shit's on your fingers)
The lady before me, she called me and gave me all this information
About this dude, and I didn't believe her either
I think I at least owe you the same courtesy
(Shit's on your fingers)
Do you have any juries?
Well, you're not gonna have it very long, honey
I know you must have a big cough, oh yes (shit's on your fingers)
He's gonna love you to death!
Um, you would dress pretty nice too, wouldn't you?
Uh-huh... has he offered to... (shit's on your fingers)
Take you to very expensive places, and just happened to have forgotten his credit card?
I see... listen to this
The man fooled around with some of my closest friends
He even dated some of my enemies
Yes, he's the kind of fella that can get you shy
But you know what? If you run around with dogs
You're bound to get fleeced
This piece of advice comes free of charge
And you better take heed to what I say
You're gonna cry a lot, and spend a lotta, lotta lonely, lonely days
'Cause ma'am, you sure got a mess on your hand
He's gonna be nice at first, so sweet and so kind
Until you're gonna think you've found the dearest man on Earth
But then he's gonna change overnight
Running women in your face
He's gonna make you feel like a fool
In some crowded place
Oh-ho, how do I know the man so well?
Well, before he was yours he was mine, can't you tell?
You're gonna cry a lot, and spend a lotta, lotta, lotta lonely nights
'Cause ma'am, you sure got a mess on your hand
(Shit's on your fingers) a real mess on your hand, mhm...
You know what? I think (shit's on your fingers)
We should stop this once and for all right here
You and I ought to get together
How about that, what you think of that?
I just feel good today, you know (shit's on your fingers)
Like I should save you from all of this
Why don't... what are you doing right now?
Okay, well, I got a feeling (shit's on your fingers)
That he's on his way over to your house
Why don't you and him go out to dinner
Yeah! And you can call me back and tell me, if you set it up
And I can just happen to go to the same restaurant
(Shit's on your fingers) ain't that great?
And while he's sitting there, being all nice and sweet, and all of this
I can just happen to drop by (shit's on your fingers)
With a baby or something, you know?
Ain't no way in hell you can get outta that
With both of us sitting here, I'm married to him
And you sitting there in all of this, I think it's fantastic!
(Shit's on your fingers) Yeah! Okay, I'll tell you what
I have to make a run out right now, you know
To pay this phone bill, that the two of you done dropped on me
But it's worth paying it, honey
Call me back in one hour, and we'll set everything up
Yeah, that'll be great! Oh, Im'ma love this (shit's on your fingers)
This is fantastic, ha! This is a great day, mhm, yeah...