Fears Intro.

[I feel crazy…I’m so mad that at this point I feel like I’m gonna let 10 years… 20 years pass by and I’m gonna be miserable. What am I gonna be able to show for my life?]

Don’t hold back…
[Besides fear and insecurities]
Don’t hold back…Mickey Shiloh
[Fear to even express how I feel]

Tell your story… tell your story straight
Let go…[all these problems I have to deal with at 20 years old]… Let it all go

[I’m only 20]… that was 5 years ago, still feels like yesterday though

[And right now I just wanna go see a movie and block everything out of my mind…]
Slow down they said, you deserve a break
[Kind of…matter fact I just wanna go lay down and sleep… I’m really tired]
“Promise you gon be ok,” they said
But how long will it take? I just can’t live this way
So hard to make it through the day… I don’t wanna be awake

[Super awkward… super awkward with everybody…guess that’s what I get for isolating myself for 5 months and I don’t even know what to say. I don’t say anything new, I don’t think of any new ideas, I don’t have any confidence in what I say even to myself right now. (Let it go let it go) Like it doesn’t even feel like its me talking. Like I don’t know where these words are coming from…I don’t … It doesn’t..it’s strange. (Promise you’ll be ok) You know I listen to people talk and them explaining things and…(oh..promise you gon be ok) and I think, how do they come up with that answer? How are they not losing track of what they wanna say when they’re saying? (Don’t give up on me…fight to get your mind back, fight to get your mind back) I just down feel like I’m a good talker…I feel like I’m a good listener but as far as talking goes I just don’t… I don’t like to talk, I get nervous (will I see the light again?) and that’s not good…have to be able to communicate (will I be alright again?) that’s gonna be huge in anything and everything that I do. (I’m pretending, pretending, pretending…I want it all to end) I’m just so worried of being judged, so worried of being laughed at, so worried..so worried of being..see that’s not even the right..is that the right grammar? Worried of? (I can’t even tell my friends) Worried about…(how long will it take?) It’s been so long since I’ve really thought about things that I just (I just wanna be ok, I just wanna feel ok) my intelligence has waned…
Ok…
You’re smart as fuck, what the fuck…listen to yourself right now…
Michaela, your trippin…snap out of it, snap out of it!
Just wake up, get up, open your eyes, it’s the sunrise… you should be happy to be alive
So much going for you, so much going for you!
Don’t ruin it all yet (don’t ruin it)
You gotta keep going (keep going)
You gotta keep going (keep going)
Please keep going (keep going)
Please keep going (keep going)
Please keep going (keep going)

I promise you gon be ok.. cause look where the fuck you’re at today
In your own crib, pay your own bills
Didn’t ever think you would do it, now you’re making a film

How long will it take?
I just wanna be ok at the end of the day