Bisexual Anxiety
I'm worried I'm doing this wrong
The other day, when you asked me was I just gay
Oh, honey, I'd love to be gay!
Or straight, even
I mean, not really
I'd love to be anything other than what I am
Fluent, ambiguous, subversive...
If you're being kind
Greedy, indecisive, untrustworthy...
If you're not...
To occupy the black and white space of mono-sexuality
To tell you what I am and for you to accept me
No questions asked
But how can you believe me
When even Carrie Bradshaw says that being bi is a stop on thе way to gay town
And who among us doesn't love gay time?
All thosе questions, how can you be sure?
How can you possibly know
If you haven't even done anything?
As if you need to do things to know
As if I need to read those books
About putting my hand there
And my mouth there
And vaguely not using that language
Because contrary to popular opinion
Not everyone is a "he" or a "she"
And I'm happy to do it
So I don't lie awake
Alone, at night, with all those "what if"-s
But I shouldn't have to do anything for you to accept me
But not doing anything feels like a betrayal to no one but myself