Forbidden

I've been searching for this feeling that I felt as a child
Never had half of the words to half describe
Then a dead cop head rush put me in such a state
Barreling tunnel visioned towards my fate

I was enlightened by the light,
Set loose by the truth like a rocket through the night
And though what i felt seemed so strange before
It didn't feel forbidden anymore

I never liked myself in pictures
I hated being seen on tape
I used to cover up my mirrors with cardboard
So i wouldn't have to see my face

I used to harbor so much hate for my body
I used to hide so much hurt in my heart
There were thoughts i was forbidden from thinking
There were words that weren't allowed to start

I was afraid my mother would no longer love me
I was afraid my friends would turn and leave
I was afraid people would find me disgusting
And i'd go to hell for what i wanted to be

I don't fear, i don't fear like that anymore
It took years, for my feet to find solid floor
There were so many factors against me; so many steps still to take
But its like the warmth of the sun's in my heart and its not going away