Fat Bastard

He'll eat your pies, he'll tell you lies
You wouldn't believe that fat bastard's size
His massive gut is forty foot, it goes dark when he walks in the pub
His buttocks part, you'll smell his farts
He's so fat, he can't wipe his own arse
So now you've heard about the ugly turd
He's a virgin and he's never had a bird

Does anyone know he's gay? He goes round spreading AIDs
(We haven't got a clue where the fat fucker is)
Has anyone seen him eat? He's never seen his feet
The fat bastard

Five hundred pounds, he's very round
But he gets taller when he lies on the ground

He busts his flies, but he can't hide
Coz he's too big, too fat and too fucking wide

Can anyone guess his weight? That was his fourteenth plate
(We haven't got a clue where the fat fucker is)
His backside blubbers about, cleavage peeping out
The fat bastard

Where's the fat cunt at? Even his fat is fat
(Found him, he's over here)
You took your time to spot him, he's got an enormous bottom
The fat bastard