Beer & Sex & Chips ‘n’ Gravy

Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber
Tonight's the night I'm going to knob her
Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust
But you can't shag a bird on a 29 bus
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all a Macc Lad wants
Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump
Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more
Pulled the bird down the Fox & Grapes
Game of darts and a lot of beer
'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?'
'Yes I can, always by the ears.'
Treat your women like toilets
They're happy when you're abusing them
But toilets don't follow you round when you've finished using them