The Insect Eater

Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood

I climb up to the windowsill
And watch the neighbors in the nude
Voyeuristis
Cataclysmis
They think I'm frightfully rude
Then, my master's voice comes through

"Renfield, where are you?
Whatever I say, you must do"

Sallow girls drained of blood
Leaves them in his trail
'Tis my job for him to find
Victims
Victims to assail

"London is my larder
Renfield, please try harder"

Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood

I'm bouncing down the high street now, shopping for nеw clothes
I buy a pair of gothic shoes
Showing off my toes
Oncе more down Oxford street, I shop for a mac and fries
Looking for a toothsome girl to soften with my lies
I hear the master calling me

"That one, with big brown eyes and creamy, luscious, juicy thighs
Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly
Let me sink my teeth into your neck
It'll make you feel so high"

He throws his cape around her
A hiss and a suck and a hiss
Then Dracula releases her
Another pallid, gothic miss
As he wipes the blood from off his lips
He says with a simpering purr

"That look of rigor mortis will soon be de rigueur"
Renfield, you just gave me an exquisite surprise
So eat your fill of bedbug soup and ladybirds and flies
Cockroaches and millipedes and a million spider's eyes"

Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
Earwigs in my fridge at midnight put me in a dancing mood
But it's not my night for insects
What's required is human food