Jump Up in the Air and Get Stuck

But they say, though
That you meet the good-looking girls
At the workout joints and
Stuff, but that's false advertising, I think
You know? Show 'em on TV
These good-looking women running
Where they at when I go down there to
Lift weights? You know? They got two-ton Tina
On a floor mat over there
You know? Looking at me like
I'm a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme
Cookie or something over
There well, she come over
She goes, 'Excuse me, can you spot me?'
(laughs) 'Hеck yeah! You're 300
Pounds, dadgum! Good Lord
I spotted you on thе way in
Here for God's sake! Ray
Charles could've seen
You over there working out! Damn, you're
A big ol' woman there you could jump up
In the air and get stuck! Dadgum
And your hind end's hungry
It's eating your
Leotard look at that right there
That's good gracious! What in the- You could
Smuggle Jews in that hind end! Look
At that! That that is Schindler's Ass right
There if I ever seen it'

And that's the thing that's
The thing that irritates
Me about a lot of the women
And I love you to death
If it wasn't for women, seriously
This country'd be full of
Queers, to be honest with you, you know well
You ain't gotta work at Jiffy
Lube to figure that out

Grandpa, he's losing it
I tell you he- He went
To the sex therapist and
She says, 'Do you and your wife
Have mutual climax?' He said, 'No
We got State Farm'