Don’t Wait Up

The bruises tell a story and the scars they track the trends
It’s 2:30 in the morning and I’ve lost about half my friends
Try to trace what I kept chasing dozen shots and chasers too
The three people who love me well I don’t think they’d approve
I’ve been away for months, with temptations given never paid for one
I should be pacing em
Blank and numb when I’m tipping my wrist
So forgiveness that’s what I’m banking on
Photos I don’t remember, moments I can’t recall
Seems like it’s last September, but it’s already next fall
Drift in and out of the scene of the bar, or the van, or the room
What I mean is I’m starving for truth getting harder to see
Any logic in making a martyr of me
Giving it all my all but all of the sudden I’m starting to bawl
Barfing the contents of my heart out in a bathroom stall
Nobody loves me, nobody calling my name at night
Nobody trusts me, not dialing the cops when I say I might
And I’m likely somewhat skewed to the view
From the back of a DJ booth, in the back of a club in the back of my mind
This is the life I choose

I’m trying to get by, I’m trying to give up, I’m trying to get high, dude
I’m trying to let up, I’m trying to get buzzed, I’m trying to go by you
I’m trying to get paid, I’m trying to lose weight, I’m trying to get fucked up
Just wanted to say, I’m running real late, so don’t you wait up
So don’t you wait up for me

I know this won’t work out, I know that my future’s fucked
Nothing I’m sure about, except for my stupid luck
Guess it’ll work for now, but baby I’m losing blood
And I’ll be the first to shout, I haven’t been true enough
On the counter got a PBR, brain hit by a meteor
My whole life needs CPR, never really gets easier
Commitments yeah I tossed a few, ah in one of those moods
Both eyes on the good stuff, want a pretty good buzz so take one of those too
Low down real depressed
Contemplate sending texts to a guy who I don’t even like
But this one time we had sex
So don’t go telling me I’m a shit show cause I already know that
Don’t say I should slow down tell me to think twice, shit when I already hold back
All the flak I get, I deserve like half of it
Cut until it bleeds, til I’m begging on my knees, so you call me a masochist
Well I call that day to day, usual type business
Feeling lost and getting found, it’s not so different