Proud

Don't wanna make him proud
Want to prove him wrong
Don't wanna pay for it
Survive on my own
All my life been down my neck
I've grown to be strong
Don't give a fuck anymore
I'll do what I want
Behind the scenes it's stressful but my mouth kept closed
I've been through a lot but I swear they'll never ever know
I'm a closed book so much shit goes undisclosed
Not one to complain I know I've been enthroned
This could be the final days of my life no cap
Why you gotta put me down pressure me on my back
A heavy burden always weighs and you knew that from the first day
Pour my heart out on this beat the skies turn grey, Ain't no way
I'm taking a stand
At the end of the day
I'm just a man
And I've learned a couple things in my years
In life there's hammer and nails
I'm a hammer yeah I ain't no fucking nail
Got criminal thoughts inner me would be in jail
All alone on a sail
They'll come and they'll go
A couple real ones stay for the show
The rest ride the wave go with the flow
That's okay I chase my dreams and chase the dough
Don't wanna make him proud
Want to prove him wrong
Don't wanna pay for it
Survive on my own
All my life been down my neck
I've grown to be strong
Don't give a fuck anymore
I'll do what I want
I don't need new friends or no fam that's how it gotta be
I was in the dark then they went and turn the lights off me
Told 'em ima shine that's when they started doubting me
So fed up so when I make it don't be proud of me
Staying out of reach so when you need me don't go calling me
Demons in my head but god was always guiding me
Never one of them now they saying I'm they family
Music and Cali weed be my fucking therapy
There's still some days I find it very hard
But I smoke a spliff and I write some bars
I stare into the abyss and admire the stars
I'm looking out the window of my car
I'm driving through my life I need to press the brakes
Maybe even take a break
Cuz you go to sleep not knowing if you'll ever wake
Shit happens so so fast
One minute you be laughing
Next minute it's your last gasp