When Uncle Bill Quit Dope

Now Uncle Bill was my Mothers Brother
A tall lanky man
But somewhere back in Uncle Bill's life
He took to sniffin' cocaine
I'd find him out in the back yard
Sittin' against a tree
His eyes bugged out in a cocaine stare
And his mind in a cocaine dream

Well one fall day when Uncle Bill
Was having a cocaine fit
He said "Louise this coke's no good and
I've made up my mind to quit
Now you take this key and I'll go
Upstairs and then you lock the door
And Lord I swear I'll stay up there
Till I don't want dope no more"

Well, he stomped the floor and he bеat the
Door and he moaned a mournful cry
Whеn the last cocaine went through his brain
We thought he'd surely die
He yelled and he cussed and he fell on
The floor and we almost gave up hope
As long as I live I won't
Forget when Uncle Bill quit dope
Well, for the first few hours
We heard not a sound
Upstairs was quiet and still
And then all of a sudden we heard
A shriek of pain from Uncle Bill
He bounced out of bed and across the room
I heard him break a chair
And then another scream louder
Than the first as
He ripped out a hunk of his hair

My Mother kissed us all that night
As brother and I lay in bed
We wondered if poor old Uncle Bill
Was dyin' or already dead
But all night long we listened to him
As he raved and pleaded and called
And I swear I heard his finger nails
Tearing the paper off the walls

Well, he stomped the floor and he beat the
Door and he moaned a mournful cry
When the last cocaine went through his
Brain we thought he'd surely die
He yelled and he cussed and he fell on
The floor and we almost gave up hope
As long as I live I won't
Forget when Uncle Bill quit dope

After fourteen days and nights of hell
It grew quiet over head
And I peered past mother
As she unlocked the door expecting
To find him dead
But to my surprise there was Uncle Bill
As shiny as a brand new dollar
His hair was combed and his beard was gone
He'd grown two inches taller

In his old blue suit and his patent shoes
He was quite a sight to see
The light was back in his deep blue eyes
As he turned to mother and me
He said "Louise
I've been through hell and
I nearly went insane
But I finally kicked that devil's habit
I beat that demon cocaine"

Well, he stomped the floor and he beat the
Door and he moaned a mournful cry
When the last cocaine went through his
Brain we thought he'd surely die
He screamed and he hollered and he fell on
The floor and we almost gave up hope
As long as I live I won't
Forget when Uncle Bill quit dope
As long as I live I won't
Forget when Uncle Bill quit dope