Foolish Questions

Now you've all heard foolish questions and
No doubt you've wondered why
Some person will ask a foolish question
And expect a sensible reply
Like when you take your girl some candy
Say maybe just after tea
You notice how she'll grab it
And then she'll say, "Is this for me?"

Foolish Questions! You can answer
When you can
"No I bought this candy for your Ma or Pa
Or for John the hired hand
"I just thought you'd like to see it
Now I'm gonna take it away"
Now wasn't that a foolish question?
You'll hear 'em ev'ry day

And then most every morning
There is someone 'round the place
Who sees you take the shaving brush
And lather up your face
And as you give the razor a preliminary wave
This fool will walk up and ask you
"Are you gonna take a shave?"
Foolish questions! Your answer is, I hope
"No! I ain't prepared for shavin'
I just like the taste of soap!
I kinda like to take the shaving
Brush and paint myself this way"
Now wasn't that a foolish question?
You'll hear 'em ev'ry day!

Now then there's this fella who
Meets you on your way
And asks you why your all dressed
Up and listens while you say
That you just been returning from the
Funeral of poor old Uncle Ned
As soon as you have told him, he will say
"Is Ned dead?"

Foolish questions! You might as well reply
"No, he thought he'd have the funeral
Now then later on he'd die
You know Ned was always so original
He wanted it that way"
Now wasn't that a Foolish Question?
You'll hear 'em ev'ry day!

Now suppose the elevator guy should
Forget to close the door
And you should tumble down
Oh say forty-seven floors
And when you reach the bottom
And you're lying there inert
Some fool will stick his head
Down the shaft and holler, "Are you hurt?"

Foolish Questions! Your dying words are
"No! I was in an awful hurry
And that elevator's just too slow
Usually saves a lot of time, you know
Comin' down this way"
Now wasn't that a Foolish Question?
You'll hear 'em ev'ry day!

That was a Foolish Question! You'll
Hear 'em ev'ry day!