When I Hold You Now I Hold You Tighter

When I hold you now I hold you tighter
When I lift you high I hold you right up
As the kite descends
I hold you to my side like my life depends
I see death almost everywhere it’s like a spider sense
But I can’t find the sense

The only answer I know
Is how the rock outgrows the waves
How the moon outgrows the morning
Like these words outgrow the page
Clouds loom above they taunt me
As they float above the pain

Has it changed me?
When I hold you now I hold you tighter
An embrace with a stranger
And we’re reunited
See our love will always guard us
My comfort though we’ve parted,
Is that a tree grows into the light &
Also grows into the darkness

They say, what is grief, if not love persevering
So what are tears if not the sound of me
Hearing your voice soaking my skin to live again
To in some ways, hold me
Push against me like a kiss
Console me i wish we never shook hands
I wish time never told love how to act once a boy became a man
I would have collected enough kisses to trade in for one more day
Just to hear you say that things will be okay once the sunsets on the pain
But i can hardly believe the rain ever feels less wet
And in an ocean of regret I still look for reason
Rest on God’s plan for the seasons
But how can love, possess such a paradox
That it promises to weave itself into the flesh of our day
But then pass away
And that thread becomes grief shooting all over me
I pull sisters and strangers that much closer to me
To compress the size of your absence
Your light refuses to vanish
A headstone reflecting the planets
A supernova exit that knows no sky could ever manage
The clouds hang heavy balancing on bowed necks
I hug everyone that much closer because who’s next?
Stamp every memory of your heart on my raw flesh
When I hold you now I feel how grief can undress
And naked, become remnants of whatever love left