Fruitcakes

You know, I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day
She runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown
She told me that human beings are flawed individuals
The cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early
And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are, and I believe it

Take for example when you go to the movies these days
You know, they try to sell you this jumbo drink
Eight extra ounces of watered down cherry coke for an extra twenty five cents
I don't want it, I don't want that much organization in my life
I don't want other people thinking for me
I want my Junior Mints where did the Junior Mints go in the movies
I don't want a twelve pounds Nestle's crunch for twenty five dollars
I want Junior Mints
We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers
We need people that care
I'm mad as hell and I don't want to take it anymore

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk in the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise, lost and found
Paradise, take a look around
I was out in California where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires, mud slides
They've got sushi in the mall
Water bars, brontosaurs, Chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secret's in the crust

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk in the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government?
Your tax dollars at work

We lost our Martian rocket ship
The high paid spokesman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship has lost its cone shaped head
We spent ninety gillion dollars trying to get a look at Mars
I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars

Fruitcakes in the galaxy (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the earth (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked towards eternity, we've been that way since birth
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Religion! Religion! Oh, there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning
Here we go now, alright, alter boys

Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa

Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The god's honest truth is it's not that simple
It's the Buddhist in you, it's the Pagan in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic, ain't she?
It's the born again look it's the WASP and the Jew
Tell me what's goin on, I ain't gotta clue

Now here comes the big ones, relationships
We all got 'em, we all want 'em
What do we do with 'em?
Here we go, I'll tell ya

She said you gotta do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lightning and a harmless lightnin' bug

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk in the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

The future, captain's log, star-date two thousand and something

We're seven years from the millennium
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley Kubrick and his buddy HAL, now don't look that abstract
So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape and practice what I preach
Get Jah lost in the reggae mon as I walk along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way
It's a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day, hey

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk in the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

That's right, you too.
Yeah, those crumbs are spread all around this universe
I've seen fruitcakes, I saw this guy in Santa Monica rollerskate naked through the crosswalk
Down in New Orleans in the french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe
New York, forget it, fruitcake city. Down island, we've got fruitcakes
Spread them crumbs around, that's right, we want 'em around
Keep bakin' baby, keep bakin