Holiday

The in-laws are waiting the games have begun

The cell phone keeps ringing ?don?t answer it hon?

The whole thing?s arranged just to aggravate Dad

And it?s amateur day on the old super slab

The kids are strapped down like a half load of pipe

All safe in their car seats they fuss and they gripe

Well you can?t hardly blame ?em it must be a bitchCounting the crosses off down in the ditch

This one?s got flowers, this one?s got a wreath

This one?s got a name painted down underneath

Was the road all iced up, were they going too fast

Here?s five in a circle left from the last holiday

Holiday

There?s a three-trailer rig just a throwin? up spray

Not legal to run on this kind of a day

But god damn the smokies and the four wheelers too

Stay offa my bumpers or the same goes for you

There?ll be none for him

He that wants it the most

As he hauls it on out to the Oregon coast

No turkey no gravy no Zinfandel wine

You just stay over right and we?ll get along fine

He?s missing the football, missing the fun

He?d play with the grandkids but he?s off on a run

And some hat?s on the radio singing his song

But it don?t make a damn

He?s in for a long holiday

Holiday

Now granny she?s yelling

She?s ready to eat

She?s havin? conniptions

?Cause they won?t take their seats

But she?s got ?em all gathered now under one roof

With her camcorder loaded

She?s gonna get proof

But do you have to wear that

Well I just don?t see why

Please pass the potatoesAw eat shit and die

Did you hear about Ellen, she?s leaving, you know

How ?bout those Packers, think it?ll snow?

And the minute it?s over they?ll scatter like quail

Off down the freeway in the teeth of a gale

Silent and shattered And numb to the core

They count themselves lucky

They got through one more holiday

Holiday

The highway patrolman

He stands in the rain

He just lets it run down to soften the stain

Of the blood on his pant leg

From working that wreck

And he won?t forget it

In time for the next holiday

Departing Chicago at 9:52

In clean desert camo all baggy and loose

Sits an Iowa Guardsman alone by the gate

The place sure looked different, in 1968

When he traveled with mom, first time on a plane

To visit some kin, he?s forgotten their names

But he remembers the soldiers, still in their teensIn their spit polished boots and their pressed army greens

With the creases so sharp, and their faces so smooth

But their eyes looked so heavy, he wondered how they could move

Now he?s got that same look, like his insides are black

He?s in his mid forties and he has to go backAnd he can?t even smoke while he waits for his plane

The uniform?s different, but the mission remains

To do like they tell you, don?t make a fuss

Why?s not an issue, so don?t think too much

You just do what you have to, shut up and drive

If you come apart later, well at least you?re alive

You can get you some help, you can deal with it then

And life will be better, ?til it happens again

?Cause there?s something inside us that won?t let us beIn stalks through our days ?til it?s too dark to see

And it?s damn near as deadly as Texans on ice

Lord don?t they beat all

Y?all have a nice holiday