Finale: Not For All The Rice In China
At last! At last!
Something new in the show at last
Something new, if you please
We won't pull the same old wheeze
We mean that we won't reprise
The chorus of one of the melodies
At last! At last!
Here's a show that'll end at last
Without a reprise and that's news
They looked up the Constitution and they couldn't find a word
That said we had to sing a song that you'd already heard
The finest legal minds have met and everyone agrees
That when we reach the finale we don't have to sing a reprise
At last! At last!
We've come to the end at last
It'll all be over soon
But we don't intend to croon
The composer's favorite tune
The one they sang beneath the moon
Now we'll explain a reprise
It's that certain song they sing all through the show
And the one they sing again before you go
But the judges met and everyone agrees
That we will have to end without a reprise
Yes, we will have to end without a reprise
In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it
You'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade
No, you can't do that
You can't do that
You can't sing again about your Easter hat
We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave
The temp'rature's rising, it isn't surprising
She certainly can can-can
No, you can't repeat
You can't repeat
You can't sing again about the can-can heat
I've got Harlem on my mind
And I'm longing to be lowdown
No, you can't do that
You can't do that
Because if you do we're gonna leave you flat
Never mind that introduction for we don't intend to sing
The chorus of "How's Chances?" as it wouldn't mean a thing
We'd like to sing a song that wasn't written for the score
A simple little chorus that they haven't heard before
A simple little chorus that you haven't heard before:
[Refrain:]
Not for all the rice in China
Not for all the grapes in France
Would I exchange the pleasure
That I get with every measure
When we dance
Not for all the kilts in Scotland
Not for all the bulls in Spain
Would I give up arriving
At your house although you're driving
Me insane
Not for all the onions in Bermuda
Or the cheeses that are made by the Swiss
Would I exchange that first kiss
That you gave me
Not for all the beans in Boston
Not for all the steaks in Moore's
Would I agree to part with
All the joy you filled my heart with
When you said, "I'm yours"
[Alternate line:]
Not for all the knobs on doors