Riddle Box Sampler

[Skit]
Aw, come on, you clowns
It's a respectable village
We don't want your dirty wagon around here
Please, wait, hear me out
What are you trying to sell, you bum?
Is this another hoax?
[?] trying to sell us our shit
No, sir
I can assure you this is no hoax
What I'm offering you all today
Will absolutely amaze you
Well, what the hell is it?
The Riddle Box
Riddle Box?
Yes, the Riddle Box
What the fuck is that?
Hey, we've got kids here
Well, what the fuck is it?
Why, why, it's everything you could wish for in the world
You, little boy, what do you wish for the most in this world?
I got a lot of toys, but I want more
Ha ha ha ha ha
There's lots of toys inside the Riddle Box, sonny boy
Say, let's open it up and have a listen, shall we?
Okay, listen to this

[Verse]
I was like six, I used to get dissed by the chicks
And everyone would chase me and hit me with bricks
And rocks and sticks and calling me names
And fill my lunchbox with frog brains, ew!
When I left school, it was much iller
My daddy was a serial killer
And how about that, he always made me sit in the back
With all his dead bodies on my lap, move!
When I got home, enough of the static
Hammer and tools and up to the attic
Never knew any other girls or boys
Only my toys, toys, toys
Bang, clang, hammer and twist
Nobody knows I exist, and I'm pissed
But I won't be mentally scarred
Instead I make toys, toys of the graveyard
Monday, ring of the bell
It's all about show and tell, might as well
Show all these bastards just what I got
Yo, check out my toy box!

[Skit]
It's only in the Riddle Box!
Say, what about you, young lady?
What do you like the most in this world?
I like having sex
I'm sure you do, sugar tits
And we've got a little somthin' somthin'
Inside the Riddle Box just for you, babe
Just listen to this

[Chorus]
Hey baby, I heard you like to freak (Yeah, I guess so)
Then come out to play with me
Hey baby, I heard you like to freak (Yeah, I guess so)
Then come out to play with me

[Verse: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
Hey, what's up, I'm new in town
I work for the circus, Shaggy the Clown
Anyway, ol' girl, I seen you around
I guess I'm trying to say that I wanna be down, hey
We had ice cream, sat in the park
I walked her all the way home when it got dark
She took me inside and when the door shut
Next thing ya know I had my nuts in her butt, uh
I want a bitch that's down to fuck right away
And even does my homies if it's okay
A little bitch that's down with a quickie
A little chicky chicky, I ain't being picky though
So you might be a little bit fat
You might even stink a bit, I don't mind that
Even if you don't fuck on the first date
Just put my nuts in your mouth and I'm straight

[Skit]
You can get it all inside the Riddle Box
Hey, mister, mister
You, the fat ass in the back
Hey, watch it, buddy!
What do you like to do?
Oh, I like to watch TV and bitch at my wife
Of course you do, fat boy
Tell me, do you like gameshows?
Uh, yeah, I like gameshows
Do you like blood and guts?
Yeah, yeah, I like blood
Well, then we've got a TV show, only in the Riddle Box
That's just for you
Say, listen to this

[Intro: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Welcome to another exciting episode of Delray's number one game show, The Joker's Wild! Shaggy, tell us something about tonight's contestants."
"Hey, mother fuckers! Get ready for the killer show up in this bitch! We got a cop, we got a judge, and we got a redneck, so step the fuck up and play The Joker's Wild!"

[Verse: Violent J]
Woohoo! Everybody smile
Guess who's back on your underground dial (Who?)
It's the game show host with the most (Violent J)
And tonight we finna have a little pig roast
Cop copper, it's been a long while
Lace up your boots and come on down the aisle
Mr. Pig-Man packing that steel
But tonight, you ain't shit, now spin the fuckin' wheel
(Ooh) Looks good, nice try
Now let's see just how ya gonna die
Lucky, lucky, he landed on Carpenter Jed
He just pounds nails in your forehead
The pig got lucky that time
But let's take a look who's next down the line
Oh, the 43rd District judge, hey pal
Remember me? You threw me in jail
Take a spin or I'll snap your neck
The clicker's landed, let me check
The Jukey, hey it ain't bad at all
We just cut your face off and slap your skull

[Skit]
You know what? It's all in the Riddle Box
Okay, now, okay, settle down, settle down
Say, I got one more for ya
Who here would like to witness
The death of twelve human beings in one night?
You all enjoy watching people suffer, don't ya?
Heh heh heh heh, of course you do
But I'm afraid, this time, the joke's on you
It's people like you
The rich, greedy bigots like yourselves who will suffer this time
All at the hands of the Riddle Box
What's wrong, fella?
You want the toys, the sex, the blood, and the guts?
Well, you take the good with the bad
When you take the Riddle Box
Don't worry, I'm leaving your nice, clean little village
But I'm taking your souls with me!

[Intro]
"Wake. Wake. Wake
Revenge is mine
Twelve people will die tonight"
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty, guilty, guilty)
("Slowly crawling from the mud")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty)
("Bones are cracking, rusty blood")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty)
("Hallowicked, take the pain")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty)
("Slowly slumping through the rain")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty)
("Barely breathing, cracking voice")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty)
("Only God will make the choice")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty)
("Of who will die and how we're punished")
La dee da day, dee da (Guilty)
("Not a jury or a judge")

[Verse: Violent J]
Now I've woken, been reborn
Though I have just until dawn
I remember every face
Spirits show me every place
First one sleeps inside his bed
Place my fingers on his head
To each temple, push and smother
'Til my fingers touch each other

[Outro]
The Riddle Box
The full-length LP
From the Insane Clown Posse
Is coming, summer 1995