Our Hero
[Intro: Mike E Clark, Dan Diamond]
"As Doctor Griffin informed you earlier, television won't be allowed until 8 PM tonight
Dinner will be served in forty-five minutes, tonight is goulash, corn, cookies and Kool-Aid
"Ooh, Kool-Aid cookies! "
We begin our story inside the state mental institution, where our hero was admitted
He's only got four months of treatment left
We join him now while he franticly tries to reach his girlfriend Rebecca
[Verse 1: Shaggy 2 Dope]
I been callin', she ain't pickin' up the phone
It's been two weeks now she ain't been home
I hang on the end and just let it ring
It suddenly picked up and I heard some things
Sound like fuckin', everything shook
They somehow fucked the phone off the hook
I can hear my bitch, "Push it in my ass!
Oh, Rick hang it up fast!"
I'll be out in four months, free to go
But that's too long to let this grow
I'm out the window, I scaled the roof
Dodgin' search lights and Doctors suits
Through the yard quick over the fence
Fuckin' razor wire ripped my pants
Into the river, up the overpass
Rebecca, I'm a kill yo ass!
[Chorus]
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (And all the other patients said)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go!
[Interlude: Dan Diamond]
We join our hero, still in his patient pajamas
Hiding outside of Rebecca's house in the bushes
He plans to kill her, but he hasn't had any sex himself in over three years
[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]
I looked through the window, there's Rebecca
Standin' there talkin' to that fuckin' pecka
He's about to leave, he slaps her ass
Out the front door, he walks right past me
I coulda killed him, but then I couldn't
He was just gettin' some neden, who wouldn't?
She's the bitch slut who sold me dry
I walked right in, arms open wide
"Rebecca? I'm out four months early!
What up with some of that beaver squirrely?"
We fucked on the couch, she said "Ouch!"
I dumped my nuts in her neden pouch
She smiled, and said she's glad I'm home
And could I excuse her to use the phone
She was quick to wanna warn Rick the dick
But couldn't, 'cause her throat got slit!
[Chorus]
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (And all the other patients said)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go!
[Scratching]
Go get her
Go get her
Go get her
Go get her
Go, go, go get her
Go, go, go get her
Go, go, go get her
Go, go, go get her
Go get her
[Interlude: Dan Diamond]
Returning from the store, Rebecca's lover is pulling up in the driveway. Our hero is inside fixing himself a ham and bologna sandwich over her dead body. Dodging the headlights, he moves quickly
[Verse 3: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Oh fuck! Ricks back with a pack of rubbers
I'm in the kitchen all in the cupboards
I low crawl quickly on my hands and knees
I locked the dead bolt, but he had keys
I took a deep breath behind the door
I coulda killed him again but I spared him once more
He was scratchin' a lotto ticket
The whole time my blade was out, ready to stick it
I was out the front before he found her dead
I ran my ass off and stole the moped
All the way back to the overpass
In through the river, across the grass
I cleared the yard but this time it was hard
That fuckin' barbed wire almost left me scarred
In through the window, back in bed
In time for breakfast and morning meds
[Chorus]
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (And all my locked up homies said)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go, Shaggs, go Shaggy, go! (Go get her. Go get her)
Go! Go! Go! Go!
[Outro: Dan Diamond]
So there you have it, our hero is safe and sound, back in his room
Sporting flip flops and a hospital gown with his ass hanging out
As luck would have it, Rick the dick was arrested and convicted for Rebecca's murder, and sent to death row
Living proof that fucking with a killer's bitch can fuck everybody up in the long run
Don't do it man, keep your dumb dick in your pants. You're better off, beating off
Especially fuckin' with my bitch
Fuck around, and they'll find bullet holes in your forehead