Delicate

Well I think I’m pretty tough
And I think I’ve had enough
Of this charade
Honestly
Don’t I tire of the game?

I can wait til I shut up
To tell me I don’t give a fuck
About a thing
My praise they sing
My peasant ass on a puppet string

Well I’m thinking that I’ve won
But I’m not close to anyone
I self-preserve
I never learn
Crave the attention that I spurn

So the next time I’m at home
Ignoring messages on my phone
Persevere
I’m in the clear
Cause there’s nowhere lower for me to sink from here

Wasn’t 4 years quite enough
To hide away and mess things up?
To live alone
I thought I’d grown
But that’ll take an effort that I’ve not known

In a city this immense
I hollow out my own defense
Like a mole
Pigeonholed
A space I know how to control

When I reach and make the stretch
I can’t be proud of my second-best
Satisfied
By half-hearted tries
Succumb once more to my own lies

I hold on to everything
And gain nothing from punishing
Myself slow
I don’t know
But it feels like every answers on the other side of letting go

Isn’t this enough, isn’t this enough
Isn’t this what you wanted?