I've Been Looking

Afternoons of funerals
Red lights laughing in my face
This is our new normal
As summer drains of days to waste
Steady tripping on my own steps
Wipe my eyes dry, I'm a mess
Skies folding in suspense
Withered worlds play pretend
One and a two and a three and a four
One and a two and I'm laying on the floor
I don't wanna go to school anymore
One and a two and a three and a four
One and a two and I'm laying on the floor
I can't count the steps I need to take
Alone
Colder than I've ever been before
Tomorrow is the softest thing that I've ever felt
And I wanna hold it
But I'm pacing yesterday
Steady tripping on my regrets
Wipe my eyes dry, I'm a mess
I've been chasing any answers I won't find and I'm so tired
Maybe I've been looking wrong
Maybe I've been looking wrong
And I just wanted to know what all had changed
Should I hate his fucking guts because he made me this insane
Or do I spare my peace of mind so there's some order to maintain
Couldn't make just one decision even if I knew it'd save our lives
I was out walking for miles
Searched the aisles for a better way to get myself up out of this place
My aspirations ceased so suddenly when iI thought how she may think of me
And I guess that I might look
But I'll find nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
Finding nothing