Seeing Negative (Disappointment)

Well I'm so fed up with what I'm doing here
Nothing is ever interesting
I've given up but not said as much
It probably comes in clutch that my mouth don't shut

I don't get it I never do
How opposites can both be true
How I'm put together but so unglued
I know what I want but don't I have a clue

I am trying to understand
Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect? cause I'm not getting what I need

Too cautious to let someone interfere
Won't take my hands off the steering wheel
drained and confused
So much to choose
Everything to lose
Has my ego bruised

Can't forget and I never will
Cancel it with overkill
Exhausted but I can't sit still
Making me anxious but I'm high on the thrill

I am trying to understand
Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect? cause I'm not getting what I need
I'm desperate swing and a miss I've had enough disappointment
It might be my lens because the negative is all I see

I'm so driven but I can't drive
I'm done stuck sitting in the passenger side
Where did the time go?
Fast past but so slow
I've been needing a change of pace
If I keep begging then I might get a taste
Planned and accidental
Wasted Potential

I am trying to understand
Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect? cause I'm not getting what I need
I'm desperate swing and a miss I've had enough disappointment
It might be my lens because the negative is all I see

the negative is all I see, yeah yeah
I'm only disappointing me