Mr. Goldstone

Stephen Sondheim

Herbie:
Rose, this is Mr. Goldstone.
Momma Rose
Have an eggroll, Mr. Goldstone.
Have a napkin, have a chopstick, have a chair.
Have a spare rib, Mr. Goldstone.
Any spare that I can spare I'll be glad to share!


Have a dish, have a fork, have a fish, have a pork.
Put your feet up. Feel at home.
Have a smoke, have a Coke.
Would you like to hear a joke?
I'll have June recite a poem!


Have a leechie, Mr. Goldstone.
Tell me any little thing that I can do.
Ginger peachy, Mr. Goldstone.
Have a kumquat, have two!
Everybody give a cheer.
Santa Claus is sitting here.
Mr. Goldstone I love you!


Have a Goldstone, Mr. Eggroll.
Tell me any little thing that I can do.
Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce.
Have a cookie, have a few!
What's the matter, Mr. G?
Have another pot of tea.
Mr. Goldstone I love you!


HerbieThere are good stones and bad stones
and curbstones and gladstones
and touchstones and such stones as them.
Rose: There are big stones and small stones
and grind stones and gall stones,
All: but Goldstone is a gem!


There are milestones, there are mill stones.
There's a cherry, there's a yellow, there's a blue.
But we don't want any old stone,
only Goldstone will do!
Moon stones, sun stones.
We all scream for one stone.
Mr. Goldstone we love you!
Goldstone!

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