Shitty Situation

A shitty situation, someone jacked my car
My taste is getting larger while I'm drinking at the bar
A shitty situation soon to be my past
If you buy me a drink I'm sure I'll have a blast
Chronic constipation like viewing others art
Lovely conversation but now I have to part
Decline your invitation I've got other plans
My time with you is nearly through I need a brand new start
A shitty situation, now that she can't drive
I better take the plunge while this thing is still alive
A shitty situation, I hope that no one sees
Should I call a cab or why not steal her keys?
An unsuspecting victim, a wallet or a purse
Your cards and your meds are why I'm so perverse
An unsuspecting victim, drinking at the bar
Desperate and alone please to meet you I am Mark
A shitty situation my judgement is a skew
I thought I picked up one but clearly it's a two
A shitty situation very well rehearsed
Oh is that your friend now I'm going through your purse.