​before the storm

And the funny thing is
No matter how hard you try
You always seem to disappoint people
I don't want to be this anymore
I don't want to be here anymore
I don't want to fucking live
But I have to convince myself
That this life is worth living
That these people and places
Are something to live for

I've been saving this for the weekend
An eighth of spliffs to numb my emotions
My hair is split, I'm cutting the lose ends
My brain is shit, I'm tired of trying
I'm sick of this patience
Logic comes to dying
I knew you were lying but I didn't care
You were something to stop my self hatred
I didn't dare ask a question
You're always on my mind
Intervention for loving too many times
Did I mention this pain is a way of life?
You learn to live with it
Or you let it eat you alive

I'd kill myself just to be myself
Don't even ask the question
All I'll be is a burden i'd kill myself
Just to be myself
Don't even ask the question
All I'll be is a burden i'd kill myself
Just to be myself
Don't even ask the question
All I'll be is a burden

Who the fuck am I
Just another psychopathic little
Prick you decide
It's much better here without me
Cause you're feeling alive
All I ever did was love
You but everything dies
There's a monster in my head
That's rippin' me apart
Vacant spaces in the places where
We both would start
To separate and every day I
Blow my candles out
I sit inside but that's not
Something you could care about
My heartbeat has grown tired of the wind
If you don't love me anymore than
Please don't bother to attend
I'm a waste of energy I'll never
See the point in this
Arms length, this love is tragic
I'm not something you would miss
I'm not something you would miss
I'm not something you would miss, no

I'd kill myself just to be myself
Don't even ask the question
All I'll be is a burden i'd kill myself
Just to be myself
Don't even ask the question
All I'll be is a burden i'd kill myself
Just to be myself
Don't even ask the question
All I'll be is a burden
I'm so fucking lost without you
They don't really care about you
They don't really care about you
They asked me if I've okay
I tell them I'm fine i don't
I don't think I've been okay for a while