'just a word'

My best friend she called me the f slur
My other best friend he called me the f slur
Another best friend with me used the f slur
Every time I hear it man my chest hurts

And it gets worse, heart was for sure dead
I could see the word just carved in my forehead
I could see the word just sitting in my own reflection
So looking at the rope was tempting

I've been crying every time I check my mirror
Every time I hear the word listen I ain't getting queerer
But every time I hear it something's getting clearer
I feel my fucking death is nearer

My best friend she called me a faggot
My other best friend he called me a faggot
Another best friend he used the word faggot
Faggot, faggot, faggot man I just can't hack it

My uncle just called me a pooftie
And I shudder when my brother calls me pussy
My nonna said that I am not a real man
Can't talk to god 'cause I feel damned

Like lord will I make it? Surely no
I was doing 90 in a forty zone
I had the devil try to call me home
My music showing you how my story goes

Tell me that it's just another word
But it helped me tie the noose when I was at my fucking worst
Hard to find relief from the cuts and burns
Can't describe the screams that my mother heard