The Lancashire Toreador

I've been to Spain but never again, I couldn't go there twice
'Cos my name's John Willie but they said it sounded silly
And they wouldn't' call me that at any price
They soon made me change my name and a real proper Spaniard I became

Don Pedro, the great bull-fighting hero, the Lancashire Toreador.
They cheer me and when the bull gets near me
To show how far a brave man can go with the bull I danced the Tango.
Then when I hung on his tail my pants he tried to gore
I went dashing round the ring with him giving chase.
Three times he tossed me in the air, I looked a disgrace.
They shouted, 'Look at all that skin and bone round the place
It's the Lancashire Toreador.'

Don Pedro, the great bull-fighting hero, the Lancashire Toreador.
I met a charming Senorita. She said, 'To love you I can never',
Then kissed me good-bye for ever.
That night, as she retired, she locked her bedroom door.
She started to undress and timidly she looked round.
Said, 'Thank God, I'm rid of him for he's homeward bound',
But when she pulled the bed clothes down now guess what she found?
Why the Lancashire Toreador.

Don Pedro, the great bull-fighting hero, the Lancashire Toreador.
I scare 'em, no mercy ever spare 'em.
In the dead of night I ramble, Spanish castle walls I scramble.
I saw a shadow above a girl in her boudoir.
I climbed up her balcony, it started to sway.
She shouted, 'Murder! there's a bandit, spare my life pray'.
But when my castanets I rattled she said, 'Hooray, It's the Lancashire Toreador'.