What's Past is Prologue

That day I watched as they threw down some seed
In the dirt
Around the porch where I always sit and write about what hurts
It seems like some kind of sign, but I shrugged it off
With nothing learned

I always look at things at such a surface level
Although I'm buried in a deeper hole
Always wonder why they're staring at the shovel
Not digging the stable life they all seem to love

Then two weeks later
The blades of grass were starting to appear
And when I noticed
I felt that inner voice whisper in my ear
"You need to change"

"You always look at things at such a surface level
Although you're buried in a deeper hole
Always wonder why they're staring at the shovel
But you're the one that didn't leave a note
You don't need to stay the same, have to work for your own change
And (?) must be living when you fix this fucking thing"
I always look at things at such a surface level
And at some point I had spun completely out of control

I went from tied down to my bed
To tied up in my head
I was searching for redemption, but dug a deeper hole instead
I left the shovel for someone else
Never thinking to dig out myself
It's a shame I had it figured out
It's shrouded in a fact I never chose to sprout
With a new change in bloom, it seems there's more room
For me to finally view the world in all its beauty
I mistakenly assume it's dead and gone
Now those days are dead and gone
Away

Today I finally learned to say, "I love myself"
Finally got out of my goddamn rut
I learned that when I truly need some help
Not to keep my fucking mouth sewed shut
Not everything should stay the same
It's okay to have some change
If we don't then we will never learn from any-fucking-thing
I learned to say "I love myself" today
I finally learned to love myself

For the first time in 4 months I can say
I didn't think about my choices
Threw the almost empty pack away
I can feel my lungs rejoice
I'm finally breathing again