Be Our Guest

Ma chère Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
And greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair
As the dining room proudly presents
Your dinner

Be our guest, be our guest
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
And we'll provide the rest
Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me, ask the dishes

They can sing, they can dance
After all, miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guest, oui, our guest
Be our guest

Beef ragout, cheese soufflé
Pie and pudding, on flambé
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret
You're alone and you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining
We tell jokes, I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks

And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet
Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
To be our guest if you're stressed
It's fine dining we suggest
Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest

Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful (hey, Cogsworth)
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Too long we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy

It's a guest, it's a guest
Sake's alive, well I'll be blessed
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert, she'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing

I'll get warm, piping hot
Heaven's sakes, is that a spot?
Clean it up, we want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest (she's our guest)
She's our guest (she's our guest)

Be our guest, be our guest
Our command is your request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you, we'll keep going

Course by course, one by one
'Til you shout, "enough, I'm done"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest
Please, be our guest