December 10

i don't want to be a rebel, that's not who i am.
but it just seems i can only do things nobody else can.
hate consumes me and guilt pervades.
loneliness beckons me far away.
feelings so evil in the nature of man.
remove me from the cancer, cut me away.

and i don't want to be a martyr, i've got no convictions.
and i can't take the pain of society's crucifixions.
i stand for what i stand on.
nothing more and nothing less.
flash me fire into the night.
loneliness and bitterness, you've come to take my light.

and i don't want to be a leader, hey you've got to understand.
all i can i do, all i do i am.
don't follow me, i've got no plan.
and the future is a blank light ahead of me.
i can only shy away.
i am scared of end and i am scared of pain.
i can't be good. i can't be bad.
ashamed i look away.

living in a big house, big yard, four cars, and a pool.
i try to be normal, see how i play the fool.
black mailbox, paved driveway, white kitchen, clean sink.
i try to be normal until i stop to think.

and i can't stand to have the spotlight, the spotlight when it's thrust upon me.
but the light it comes shinin' down, burning me naturally.