Minstrel Show

Mother Nature
I’d rather you come see me now, than say you coming later
Knowing I should’ve came, too
Yo, stop doing niggas favors
But that’s neither here nor there
12 shows, once a month
I’ve been coming out every year
Blurred by things that once was clear
Or so I thought
It’s my fault
Listening to things only to realize my sense is impaired
The pain felt, has always been much to endure
All while fixing the trauma that has never ever been yours
Habitats are where the habits at
Nowhere fast in slowmo
Gotta stay dolo
Gotta get this dough, though
Whatever to gain the magic back
Suicide ain’t my style, but in this life, though
It seems to stop the blood flow is the way to break the cycle
Yet, ironically, it’ll only continue
‘Cause babygirl would find that DNA remains within you
It’s the cause of all your flaws and all those hormones
Exacerbated, from the silent cries to when that whore moans
Then there’s the stigma with the pigment
Bitch got an attitude, her woes ain’t nothing but a figment
Fuck her feelings, they'll desire and insist
That they care
Yet, they never inquire, only dismiss all of her fears
Yeah
27 Days
The 28th is creeping
Poker face been strong
All month long
Then my subconscious seeps in
They creepin’
Thoughts bleedin’
Heavier than a menstrual flow
Facade is fading, to black, degrading
Welcome, the minstrel show
Are my feelings validated
Or plain ignorant
Ignore rants from our kind, left with indifference
Moses unparted, it started
Unlocked the mental flow
Mind racing, but legs gotta keep breaking
Welcome, the minstrel show
Sometimes I feel less than a woman
Intimidated by my peers
Knowing I really shouldn’t
Everyday I keep on, just trying to trust it
But the lack of femininity I feel, leaves me disgusted
Unjust shit
I’m only good to use, but never to love
Only good to seduce, but never to fuck
If strictly for the casual, I’m actually out of luck
Because the soul becomes a casualty, apathy runs amok
Fuck it
If that nigga can’t love me as I am, then I don’t need ‘em
Blinded by the thought of love, so much, that I can’t see him
For who he is
And I guess I’ve paid the price
The cost of grief always seems more than relief if you ain’t white
Fulfilling dreams of the one keeps you asleep
That was the light
What’s left is a lack of presence, watch me leave
What you did ain’t right
Nah
Forever embedded
But now I know I’m worth it
Then again, I don’t
Just know I’m blessed to walk this Earth, kid
Standing above dirt, so I gotta put in the work
They say the nice ones finish last, but now I know who comes first
And that’s me, on God, there ain’t no faking this
If I can’t feel me as I am, then I can’t take the risk
27 Days
The 28th is creeping
Poker face been strong
All month long
Then my subconscious seeps in
They creepin’
Thoughts bleedin’
Heavier than a menstrual flow
Facade is fading, to black, degrading
Welcome, the minstrel show
Are my feelings validated
Or plain ignorant
Ignore rants from our kind, left with indifference
Moses unparted, it started
Unlocked the mental flow
Mind racing, but legs gotta keep breaking
Welcome, the minstrel show