Merry Quitmas
Oh no something's wrong with Santa
Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer,
You should have quit Nick, said Dancer
But you should have known that smoking's not the answer x2
It's Christmas Eve in Lapland, the Elves are working with their hands full,
The sleigh is fully loaded and it's as heavy as an anvil,
In the office sits a Doctor, face lit up by a candle
I'm really sorry Nick but Christmas is cancelled
Santa's face turned ashen a heavy-hearted sigh,
He gazed upon the stars in the cold Lapland sky.
He'd failed the whole world coz tonight he wouldn't fly
He thought of all the children, and the tears that they would cry
He knew deep inside, in a moment of reflection,
That years of puffing smoke had led to this infection.
He fell down to his knees with Mrs Claus annoyed,
He muttered to himself I'm a stupid silly boy
Oh no something's wrong with Santa
Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer,
You should have quit Nick, said Dancer
But you should have known that smoking's not the answer x2
I thought smoking was amazing and I would always be tokin'
The cigarette it would be blazing, like Rudolph's nose would be glowing.
And now my wife is raging well better yet this time she's exploding
Because the sleigh bells are not sleighing and therefore we are not going
I mistook nativity for naivety and my dignity it is leaving me
I was important now I'm impotent It's no wonder you don't believe in me
It's Christmas Eve so much to achieve so let's do it beseechingly
I'll reprieve all of the aggrieved before all you people need to grieve for me
Anyway Santa's got bars and a set of baubles so here's what I endeavor
If you're gunna smoke, listen to this song it's a gift for you, a treasure,
There are no presents this year, OK, I'm going to do something better
It's too late for me but not you I'm banning smoking forever PEACE
Oh no something's wrong with Santa
Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer,
You should have quit Nick, said Dancer
But you should have known that smoking's not the answer x2