Adam’s Apple Saws

[Intro: Skit]
"The ghosts are moving tonight, restless, hungry
May I introduce myself? I’m Watson Pritchard
In just a minute I’ll show you the only really haunted house in the world
Since it was built a century ago, seven people including my brother have been murdered in it
Since then, I’ve owned the house
I’ve only spent one night there and when they found me in the morning, I was almost dead"
"I am Frederick Loren, and I have rented the house on Haunted Hill tonight so that my wife can give a party
A haunted house party, she's so amusing
There'll be food and drink and ghosts, and perhaps even a few murders, you're all invited
If any of you will spend the next twelve hours in this house, I will give you each ten thousand dollars
Or your next of kin in case you don't survive
Ah, but here come our other guests
It was my wife’s idea to have our guests come in funeral cars
She’s so amusing, her sense of humor is shall we say, original"

[Verse 1]
I’ve done things for money that I don’t regret (Yah, yah)
I’ve done worse for fun, wanna place a bet?
My liver’s a wasteland of alcohol
Been soaked, never accepted a parasol
Who’s to even care when I go?
Fired actors of a cancelled show
I’ll be smiling at my funeral
What good are the kids without riots?
Family will benefit from my silence
So sick of earth and it’s fighting
Just like it was monsters inside my head
But do they compare to the monsters I’ve had in my bed?

[Chorus]
I’ll never make my father proud and that’s fine by me
This is nothing new, I’m used to invisibility
My tranquility soliloquy

[Verse 2]
I have cheated those who have loved me
Sworn revenge on the those who I had treated right
Now I’m careful 'bout who I let touch me
Most important is peace of mind
Black sheep, black sheep, wanna play a game?
Don’t you want the world to remember your name?
Shooting at nothing, I’m calling shenanigans on this ring toss
My bed is dressed like a casket and when I get sleep it just feels like a rip off

[Chorus]
I’ll never make my father proud and that’s fine by me
This is nothing new, I’m used to invisibility
I’ll never make my father proud and that’s fine by me
This is nothing new, I’m used to invisibility
My tranquility soliloquy

[Outro: Skit]
-Well, where is everybody?
-It isn’t a very warm welcome is it?
-Only the ghosts in this house are glad we’re here
-Are we all strangers to each other? Don’t you two know each other?
-I’m afraid I don’t even know your name