THE SLUDGE
Laying in a puddle full of what I was
Looking up had me dissolving in the sludge
But I'm good
I spent forty days and forty nights
Pen and the pad
Trying to tell you about my life
Full of misdirection and plight
Over aggression and over obsession
Fear of heights, the glass ceiling cracked on my entrance
Shards staining my temple
Everybody took what I gave to borrow
Sparring with the demons
Made me reason with seeing tomorrow
Gum-stained soles tied over my laces
Stopped falling when I stopped fearing heights
Been knew I was going places
I done had my hands tied and sawed-off
They tried to take my pen
Cause when the ink dries, I go off
Spent hours chasing mastery
These verses write themselves
Due to alchemy
Done birth a masterpiece
They tried to limit me but
Thank God for Master P
I'm chosen. I told God to use me
Speak through me
Fumbling words trying to find answers
Dropped the ball a time too many
I'm clueless
I'm just a vessel that he using
I'm just bones and skin decomposing
On the hour, by the hour
Fruit spoiled, mouth sour
Had supper with the uppers
Had dinners with downers
Wash my doubts down with liquor
Drunk alone at home base, it's just me and the pitcher
Swinging clinched fist at niggas
I vomit all of my issues
I'm better when I'm with you
My stomach ache had to swallow the truth and eat up my food
Laying in a puddle full of what I was
Looking up had me dissolving in the sludge
But I'm good
The purest soul taking advantage of the role
Who was there when I was down on luck and living on my own
My heart aching trying to find love
I ain't been held in a minute
Trying to heal
These cuts deeper than a feeling but I feel 'em
And fill em' with each syllable from my pencil and then some
I roll some just to feel some and then some
I been s-s-s-s stuttering since a little kid
I never had a problem with repeating shit
Try locking yourself in a room
Till you had 16 bars and the right instrumental
Was a gap-toothed lil nigga, so I got braces and tried to fix them
It's a lot of insecurities in this one
Smoking trying to fix my mental
The homies told me "why you acting like you on your menstrual? nigga cheer up"
"Fuck"
On a break from work it's a four-nine
Just got the phone with Deuce he told me he did seven-five
I let the ink bleed
It's not even me talking I let the pen speak
Predicting the weather like what the lick read
It's enough being said and I don't talk much
Senior year smoking blue games and dutch's
Now we doing walk-ups
Close my eyes cause I'm safest in my mind but honestly
I done died a hundred times then came alive
I'm a long way from the northside
The city missed me when I left
I'll be back soon with love and money to pay off all my nigga debts
And cut the checks
A nigga from the pote done made it out the ropes
That they had tied
Seen niggas never leave or die in real-time, with my own eyes
This from Bama to the go
I'm doing what I said before
Before the fro locked
Before my nigga turned his momma house into a dope spot
Shipping shit make sure the load drop
And dipping when we hear them folks out
Laying in a puddle full of what I was
Looking up had me dissolving in the sludge
But I'm good