Sold to me

I hate pretending like I like it here
The incessant chatter's so mundane
I'll nod my head and smile, the compulsive liar
Oh what I'd trade
So I plot my escape
Why does all of my
Self-esteem come
From how I'm perceived
You mind your manners
Don't wanna come off as boring
I'm so sick of always saying yes to things
Value made up currencies
I've fallen for what they're selling me
I hate catching up in local bars
I guess my temperaments better to deal with
When there's liquor involved
Unanimous informed consent
Oh the deafening silence
I'm such a pain
I think that's what they say
Why does all of my
Self-esteem come
From how I'm perceived
Gotta mind my manners
Can't afford to come off as boring
I'm so sick of always saying yes to things
Value made up currencies
I've fallen for what they're selling
And now that it's been over
I have to have it
I took for granted
The things that used to be
And now that it's all over
I'm chasing childhood memories
And what they mean to me
I remember when we
Were camping under stars in Upstate New York as summer nights got colder
Sitting on the corner claiming cars we'd drive when we were older
Spending all day raking mountains of leaves to topple when the day was over
Oh God I miss it, it was simple it was beautiful
We were love drunk off each other
And the promise of our friendship
Hoping it would last forever
Like those nights that never ended
Now we all just text on birthdays
Why does it feel like I'm pretending
Do you lose the things you squeeze too tight
If so then I should let go
All of my self-esteem
Just from how I'm perceived
Mind my manners
How can I when you're all so boring
I'm so sick, miming made up normalcies that value social currencies
I've fallen for what they're selling
Oh to hell with what you've sold to me