Intro

My name is Cool Calm Pete
And I live in America

Cool and Calm
I'm calm and cool
I'm cool and calm
I'm calm and cool

I live in a trusting, forceful, dynamic society and that is why I like to get away from (???) as often as possible

Pardon me sir, could you give us some assistance please?
Yea, glad to help
We're looking for a Dog Creek Road, and that would be near the town of Redwood
If I was going to Dog Creek Road, I sure as hell wouldn't start from here
But supposin' you had to?
Well then I'd swing around and go back the way you came, but this time turn right where the old Holland Shed Barn used to be, then about five miles before the road dead-ends, veer left, and follow the railroad tracks straight into a town called Beaver Mill. Or you could take the bridge at the fork of the road, and save yourself a heap of time
I wouldn't go that way if I were you

It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

You still got that map?
Yea
Don't lose it. It might be the piece of evidence that gets me off a murder charge
Who you gonna kill?
The son of a bitch that drew that map

Well it's about time! Where the hell have you guys been?
Oh man. Did you hear that?
Nope I didn't hear that
I'll have somebody's ass for this!
Perhaps you heard that
Nope
Your a day late, dammit! We had to sleep on the floor last night! Where the hell have you idiots been?
Or that?
Don't know what to say Colonel. We got lost
Well
Somebody answer me!
We got lost
Lost? How could you get lost? I drew you a map!
Any sign of them?
Nope
I think it's gonna be a sneak attack
Ok, that's more like it

Hey fella, hey! Wait! Stop!