I Hate Men

I hate men
I can't abide them even now and then
Then ever marry one of them, I'd rest a maiden rather
For husbands are a boring lot that only give you bother
Of course, I'm awful glad that mother had to marry father
Still, I hate men

Of all the types of men I've met in our democracy
I hate the most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy
He may have hair upon his chesst, but sister, so has Lassie!
Oh, I hate men!

I hate men
They should be kept like piggies in a pen
You may be wooed by Jack the Tar, so charming and so chipper
But if you're wooed by Jack the Tar, be sure that you're the skipper
For Jack the Tar can go too far. Remember Jack the Ripper?
Oh, I hate men!

If thou shouldst wed a business man, be wary, oh be wary:
He'll tell you he's detained in town on business neccesary
The business is the business that he gives his secretary!
Oh, I hate men!

I hate men
Though roosters they, I will not play the hen
If you espouse an older man through girlish optimism
He'll always stay at home and night and make no criticism
Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism
Oh, I hate men!

Of all I've read, alone in bed, from A to Zed about 'em
Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout 'em
But, ladies, you must answer too, what would we do without 'em?
Still, I HATE men!