HIGH/BYE

Growing up is like growing into a plastic mould you don't fit in but at the same time you're being 

torn limb from limb 

and you can feel the walls crushing your skin

like a vacuum being attached to a plastic bag 

you're watching yourself shrink from within

And I've been so compliant 

I keep lying 

I been trying to 

get out of this grey space between two lives but 

everybody's dying 

did you lie about being bi?

do you still get high? 

and oh fuck the years have gone by 

but you don't say hi anymore

real life is too understimulating for my generation 

stopping at the shops at 1 am cause I forgot to eat again 

and you guys all 

went to uni and made loads of friends and did loads of drugs and I stayed at home and I got a job now I'm staring at my phone

waiting for a call

did you lie about being bi?

do you still get high? 

and oh fuck the years have gone by 

but you don't say hi anymore

I thought I could 

see stars

out of

my window 

but it turns out 

that it was light

refracting out of somebody else's home onto 

tiny raindrops

tiny droplets of water

trying to make the faintest impression on people

the faintest impression in an ocean 

did you lie about being bi?

do you still get high? 

and oh fuck the years have gone by 

but you don't say hi anymore

Walking to work and there and men spitting on the floors

knocking on doors

standing outside the pub

cigarette in one hand 

beer in the other 

nothing ever happens here and nothing ever will

and find a will to live 

it's a safe space painted with faces grey but no one ever makes it out of here alive anyway

did you lie about being bi?

do you still get high? 

and oh fuck the years have gone by 

but you don't say hi anymore