Disaster Scenes

the last person i dated accused me of trauma dumping and they were absolutely right
that's why i spit it on a mic and y'all can turn this shit off whenever you'd like
you're probably pretty selfish, like every other human
conditioned by a sick society, lacking empathy, acting like narcissism is healthy
we blame it on our childhood, we blame it on the government
to some people out there self-care means shooting up the a corner or compulsively fucking
seen my mother go from addict to addict and watching the madness of repeating patterns causes damage
seen my father turn to a ninety-pound crackhead and that shit won't just leave a kid's head
all of these disaster scenes have taught me everything
the first person i hated said that they would never leave me
they broke that promise now i'm dishonest to anyone that tries to help the trauma inside my head
i'm a liar and a bad friend just like every other human
i'll burn the city down just to make you frown but won't look you in the eyes long enough to make a connection
i point our fingers at the drug war, point to pockets funding federal
our prison system no different than economic terrorism destroying the family from within
the hurt and anger become fully grown, bitter as a broken nose
the weight of the snow outside a broken home
life in a violent lull stroll into a knife fight to the soundtrack of a soul passing through a glass pipe
those are these disaster scenes have taught me everything
i can't believe that i waited until this moment to say anything
about what happened to me when i no more than three because today it isn't bothering
see i am not a victim, like every other human
and not everything bad comes from the hands of a man and it was Pam that had her way that day
i blamed it on my childhood, i blamed it on my fucking parents
how could they leave me in the hands of creep she abused and debased me
handing me a bar of soap telling me to clean up before i go, a burn like nothing i'd ever known
all of these disaster scenes have taught me everything i know