Seventeen

Okay emotions running high
It's time, I'm sitting down again
Zoning, been holding on my pen
Memories coming in flowing to my hand

I've been trying to write something for months and I've been stuck in blanks
I think I get it now
I've been denying thoughts inside my head

So much for raw thoughts
I've been scared if I let them in
What if I end up hurting again?
What if my words are too much for them?
What if I-

Fuck it I'm letting go
I'm switching up the flow
I gotta let them know
I gotta take them back
I gotta brink it back
Before I started releasing my work
I was in my bedroom putting words in my phone

2015, I was drowning in emotions
I was living in the motion
I was holding on my notion
That if I get out my thoughts in a way
I could breathe out my emotions
Trying to get away by writing poetry, trying to flow like the ocean

Oh shit, I didn't realize I was just picking my poison
Pretending that things around are getting better or reminding me of the hatred
Years went by, 'til I turned seventeen
Still ain't a thing making no sense
I was consumed by emotions
Family falling apart, and my friends losing hope, and I got my heart broken

I was only seventeen, man
I was only seventeen, damn
I was seventeen, they took my idols away man
Seventeen tatted on him man
I was seventeen, and I've seen the bigger picture
I was mad at the world
That ain't long ago, I'm fucking madder now
Yeah I still hate it now

I think the world is ending
(I hope it fucking ends)
I got so much to do
(It doesn't matter no more)
I know you feel it trembling
(Why you just standing there?)
What's it you gonna do?
(What are you gonna do?)

If life's a fucking movie then
It's coming to a close
I think I hear them calling
Don't tell me this how it goes

Look to your left man, look to your right
Look around you, it ain't looking so bright
I wanna have kids man, give them a future
Don't want no endings, ain't ready for closure
I want them to grow up, I want them to prosper
That takes some time, time we take from them
How can they live their lives if there's no world to live in?
We taking it from them, we motherfucking monsters

We won't be for long if we keep up this pace
They won't have they kids, maybe I ain't gone have none
Shit if I do, they probably ain't getting there
Ain't turning seventeen, ten, or a fucking year

If it is ending then why am I holding back?
Fuck this world, you can suck my thumb
Matter of fact man, suck my dick
You doing us dirty man, some don't deserve it
Some living perfect while they be stepping on people whose dying to feed up their family, man
They be the family men, they families taken from 'em

This shit, it ain't fair
Why ain't like the movies
I get happy moments but no happy endings
I don't get it man, I don't get it at all
I was seventeen, I was young and confused
I was seventeen, I was drunk getting loose
I was seventeen, that ain't long ago
It as a year ago, I was mad at the world
Yeah I'm madder now, yeah I hate it more
I hope it fucking ends
Jesus, please can you help