Last Orders

The first time that I saw her it was getting kinda late
I’d already had a skinful but I asked her for a date
She said yes, I had a drink to celebrate
Time for one last round
I know the road to romance has some very rocky paths
So next night I was careful and I stuck to drinking half’s
In an hour, in an alley with our drawers around our calf’s
Time for one last round
The bells, the bells
So loud a man can’t think
The bells, the bells
Is there time for another drink?
Fifteen minutes later we were back inside the pub
She told me I was wonderful, she said she was in love
I said “thank you darling, two large brandies guv”
There’s time for one last round
The bells, the bells
So loud a man can’t think
The bells, the bells
Is there time for another drink?
Four pints of lager later things went from bad to worse
She came back from the toilet caught me going through her purse
She said “forget the taxi, you’re gonna need a hearse”
There’s time for one last round
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila four
I knew I wasn’t drunk I had a good grip on the floor
I puckered up to kiss her but she punched me in the jaw
Time for one last round
Time for one last
Time for one last
Time for one last round