Bruce Hated Puppies

Bruce hated puppies
He thought they ran like fannies
Many sighs took the prisoner's hand
Many sighs took the prisoner's heart
Many sighs

Bruce hated puppies
He cursed the row of pet shops
Give the labradors gluten-free pork chops
Give the bulldogs Charvel headstocks
They can play their own weddings
They can play their own wake

Now Bruce, he's a lot of fun
He's a lot of fun when he's not not a lot of fun
The puppy thing isn't really representative
The puppy thing isn't really representative

Bruce hated puppies
He thought they barked to spite him
Once or twice he was sure they had winked
Once or twice he suspected a grin
Once or twice

Bruce hated puppies
He cuts their heads from photos
Give the terriers beehive hairdos
Give the Shih Tzus tanning bed menus
They can fix their own boilers
They can comb their own coats

Now Bruce, he's a lot of fun
He's a lot of fun when he's not not a lot of fun
The puppy thing isn't really representative
The puppy thing isn't really representative

A chill runs through their bedrooms
Then normal service resumes
Whatever you were informed
Mothers make good chariots