Breaking News (Intro)

[Intro]
This just in, Connecticut rapper Chris Webby Webster
Was finally caught by local authorities earlier this evening
He is reportedly being brought up on a number of
Assault and battery charges for the instrumentals that
He hospitalized early this year, he was found in
His parents attic where he lives. Haha! What a fuckin' loser!
More details to come, back to you with the weather Lisa

[Verse 1: Chris Webby]
I'm a beast on the mic when I speak, when I write
Speak to the sight, OZ in the pipe
I don't give a fuck if my jeans too tight
Don't worry bout me, go live your life
Just too nice, rock it ill, no auto tune, just lots of skill
Crazy so says Dr. Phil, roll one up and pop a pill
Do what I do when I rep for the 2 to the 0 to the 3, I got it dude
Never hold back with the words I spew, through my mouth aimed right at you
Through and through I'm that, you don't wanna try that
Can't see me like your own eyelash, snap on em' like a Venus Flytrap
I'm back, best in the burbs, kill the track with the excellent words
That I got in my brain, when I drop it insane, top of the game, live and learn
Always drop the hottest cause you know that Webby got it
Bein' dope isn't a question, it's a fuckin' pinky promise
I'm crazy, nothin' but straight jackets in my closet
Roofyin' myself with Zachary Galifianakis
Higher than a rocket orbitin' the rings of Jupiter
I'm the psychopathic illegitimate son of Lucifer

[Skit]
When brought in for questioning Webster was found to have
Eight bags of cocaine, 27 ecstasy pills
Three ounces of marijuana, 2 illegal pet tiger cubs
Four Ninja Turtle action figures
And a kidnapped Cambodian prostitute
His bail has been set at $2,000,000 dollars and he
Oh wait, this just in Chris Webby has escaped?!
Oh Jesus, oh god, lock your fuckin' doors people. Oh, fuck!

[Verse 2: Chris Webby]
Kill anything that I go and do
Come at me once and your dead, in the afterlife you'll be 0 and 2
It's fantasy to imagine me in a sober mood
Winnings what I chose to do, and I did and now It's game over dude
I'm the next white boy just to let you know
I grab a hold of the beat and I never let it go
That's why they buying a ticket to come to Webby's show
So grab a Tampax, I got a heavy flow
Do what I does, always buzzed, then say that I don't do drugs
Never been a day that I gave a fuck, so shut your mouth and tape it up
Rollin' in with vitamins, Vicodin, Liquid Nitrogen
So much fuckin' weed that I'll probably forget my lines again
Uhh, fuck, what was I gettin' at?
I've lost my mind, I'm surprised I still have my head attached
I get my razor in hand and you know I shred a track
So spread the mothafuckin' word bitch, Webby's back!