But It’s Christmas, Becky

[JOSH]
So you told me that this wasn’t gonna work out
You packed up your belongings and left me with so much doubt
It’s been eight months since you broke my heart and left our little apartment
With a beautiful view of the regional park not far from the supermarket
But the beautiful view’s not as beautiful without you
I know that we weren’t perfect
And you said you wouldn’t accept me
But it’s Christmas, Becky

Now the memories are flooding my mind everyday
I’m wracking my brain to find out exactly where we ran astray
I guess I shouldn’t have cheated on you
Or maybe my room was too messy
But it’s Christmas, Becky

[JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS]
Is this about when I drank all the milk and then put it back in the fridge? (Back in the fridge, ooh)
Or is this about the gasoline trail they found that I poured on the bridge (On the bridge, ahh)
Cause I swear that I will buy you another milk carton (Ooh)
And you gotta remember the trial, it was technically not arson (He got off pretty easy)
I suppose these are reasons that you would neglect me (Those are some very good reasons)

[JOSH]
But it’s Christmas, Becky

Christmas is almost here, Becky, so why don’t you give me one more chance
Christmas is almost here, Becky, and I think that I deserve another chance

[JOSH, spoken]
I should clarify, when I say I cheated on you, I’m referring to when I moved your Skiddley Whiffers game piece while you were giving me a piggyback ride. Sorry

[JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS]
Oh the holidays feel so empty, I can already tell (He can already tell)
There’s no one in whose direction I’d rather shake my jingle bell (Jingle bells, jingle bells, ooh)
The mistletoe feels gratuitous
When you aren’t here to peck me (Mistletoe is a parasitic plant)

[JOSH]
Cause it’s Christmas, Becky

[JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS]
You can’t still be mad my mom stabbed your dad in the arm with a number 2 pencil (Number 2 pencil, ooh)
It wasn’t that sharp, and now he’s totally healed (Almost totally healed, ahh)
My mom really isn’t that bad once you get to know her (Ooh)
And that bloody wound on your dad couldn’t have closed any slower (Boy, he takes long to heal)
If you turned me down again
I know that it would wreck me (That’s a manipulative thing to say)

[JOSH]
Cause it’s Christmas, Becky

Christmas is almost here, Becky, so why don’t you give me one more chance
Christmas is almost here, Becky, the least you could do is give me a seventh chance
Oh Becky, I swear I’ve changed this time

[JOSH, spoken]
And I promise I’m never gonna play Monopoly again, five disasters in a row is enough for me, but that snarky little cheater had it coming. Sure, everybody look at me like I’m the bad guy for yelling at your Great Aunt Mildred when she’s the one who ‘just so happened’ to land on every orange space in three turns. It’s not like I knew about her heart condition. And yeah, it probably was in bad taste to dress up as the Monopoly man at the funeral, but that was for an unrelated event, and I didn’t have time to go home and change. But I’LL CHANGE FOR YOU BECKY

[JOSH]
So you told me that this wouldn’t ever work out
You packed your travel Scrabble game and left your sauerkraut
It’s been eight months and five minutes since you broke my heart and left our apartment
With a beautiful view of the regional park not far from the supermarket
Where I got arrested for stealing that child’s kazoo
And in my defense, I only stole that kazoo for you
You know, for your vintage kazoo collection
I suppose there’s a number a reasons
Why you would choose to reject me
But c’mon, it’s Christmastime Becky

[JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS]
It’s Christmastime Becky (Please take me back/Oh please take me back Becky)
It’s Christmastime Becky (Please take me back/Oh please take me back Becky)
It’s Christmastime Becky (Oh please take me back Becky/Oh bring us some figgy pudding)
It’s Christmastime Becky (Oh please take me back Becky/Oh bring us some figgy pudding)

[JOSH]
But it’s Christmas, Becky

[BECKY, spoken]
Ugh, you’ve got to get over me, Josh