Ten years in the red

It was right then
A new kind of fear
This apathy that makes my life a war and time a broken hourglass
I keep picking the pieces from the ground and you keep breaking them
Until dust is all that I am left with

I know there is a question behind it all
I sway in the stillness

The apartment's hard floor is where I spend most of my nights
The days seen through your eyes are colorless and hazy
I removed all the furniture and got rid of all the knives

Windows are another of those traps you set up for me
Their presence pulling me out to the ground
The glass dangerously close to my arms

If only I did not have to think
Living in a blind arithmetic discipline
Working overtime
Staring at the inner chaos spreading

I'm not ready for what you have to say

I'll let myself go blind before you can open my eyes