Ten Pounds

One slim fast shake
Is never enough
It takes two or three
Just to fill me up
So I tried Jenny Craig
She lasted a week
When I got kicked out
I moved on to South Beach

I order a fruit cup
Instead of the fries
But it doesn’t matter
I’m still the same size

And I swear those scales are lying to me
‘Cause I’ve done just about everything
I’ve tried it all and there’s one thing I’ve found
I’ll never lose these last ten pounds

One trip to the gym
Cost me 52 bucks
‘Cause I only went
One day a month
So I tried working out
In front of my T.V
But it got really old
Just Richard Simmons and me

Then I ordered a Bowflex
But could’t figure it out
Now it’s just an extra seat
And a place to hang my towels

And I swear those scales are lying to me
‘Cause I’ve done just about everything
I’ve tried it all and there’s one thing I’ve found
I’ll never lose these last ten pounds

Trimpsa and Hollywood fads
Subway sandwiches and six-minute abs
Pilates, Yoga, and kickboxing class
I’ve even tried Dulcolax

And I swear those scales are lying to me
‘Cause I’ve done just about everything
I’ve tried it all and there’s one thing I’ve found
I’ll never lose (I’ll never lose)
No I’ll never lose (never lose)
No I’ll never lose these last ten pounds