Self Aware (feat. Elizabeth)

I see it now
But please don't hold this against me
I'm conscious now
And it tortures me directly
I just need more time, finding me
I don't need you to tell me I lost time
Grinding me on the floor, I thought that I froze time
Binding me from my neck cuz she's a fucking lost mind
Lost all of my patients' cuz I want affection on time
I know I didn't listen to you when I had time
I didn't bother to help you get out of this hard time
I know it's my fault but don't think you didn't
Contribute to what we hit in this short time
I told you like four times that if you wanted attention
Knock on my hard mind
It's positive to vent but I thought I would've waist time
And I thought my energy would've left out of this vent without consent
I saw the end of it and it would've bought time
You could've been the best of me butchur feelings shut down
Bullets in the chest of me because I let you drown
Pushed it just to pressure me that was my pride now
What did you expect from me, I'm new to this high ground
Don't complain when I don't have these feelings no more
Know I never cried for no dame that let me be broke
I never meant to hurt you I won't do it again, just know
I'm self-aware that I teared the feelings you let go
I'm well aware I'm not compassionate and I'm so narrow
With what I wanna feel, I'll burn every feel que yo tengo
So egoistic but your kiss is what I wanted the most
I thought I fucking loved you but now I see que te quero
I see it now
But please don't hold this against me
I'm conscious now
And it tortures me directly
I can see in me whatchu needed
I see on my sleeve where you bleeded
I should've listened when you wanted to talk about ur mama
My inexperience has me breaking your heart with my trauma
For me, it should've been all about you, and how much you wanted
To open up to someone cuz now you won't even look at all
To me, your character always made me fall so deep
The attention you gave to them is what I seeked
So why am I acting like if you were God to me
Cuz I can say you're just another broad to me
I will never disrespect you, you're a queen
But don't think everything is gonna fall on me
I wanted to do things like fall asleep
Next to you, bless you too cuz I was what you sneezed
I'm tryna keep you out of my head, but everywhere
I go I see you shouting ahead
Letting me know you're still here
Cloud of unread messages, you never answered back cuz you were upset
And took some out on me, there's a couple holes in my chest
Now when you look at me I feel like I'm the fault at the end
Second chances ain't for everyone cuz I fucking guessed wrong
I thought you had some feeling inside, barely even friends
My pride blinded all the feeling I should've had instead
Of thinking you were fine but inside you were practically dead
Just understand where I'm coming from
Don't take offense to the things I've said
There's more to this but I know you won't feel for it.
I see it now
But please don't hold this against me
I'm conscious now
And it tortures me directly
I can see in me whatchu needed
I see on my sleeve where u bleeded