Dirge

"There's a noise in my head
" last thing my father said
On the side of a road then he was dead
Saw my first body at seven, my friend
They said he went to heaven but
I remember his bike twisted
Wheels still stuck in that truck hood
So yeah I don't sleep that good
Get up and roll a wood
Feed the cancer in my chest
Tumors killed half my family
Eighties gon' take the rest
Fuck I need a rest
Diabetes kill more niggas than bullets
Gotta gat, please pull it
My aunt died waiting for a liver
So I'd rather go like my cousin
I sampled the trigger somebody murked him
Left the body in the street
We ain't even know he was gon' for a week
Found out auntie had a stroke
Now she don't speak
Without Summer days is bleak
Only thing I wonder is guns or butter
Aneurisms'll give you a stutter
Or maybe some young motherfucker
Is nervous during the jux
They shot Patrice ten times
Ain't even take the pocket book
Cat scans and x rays heatseeking strays
So many done I run out of shit to say
Tears long gone
Why we born to catch shots and diseases
I'll come to the funeral but
Don't tell me about Jesus
Freddy got cut into pieces, and don't lie
The pain never releases
I buried my goddam nieces
Wanna come for the nigga
I need an ounce and two packs of Rizla

It's like I'm losing focus
Everyday trying to write down the thoughts
Feeling hopeless
Trying to grow with that and then float
Above all the bullshit
That's why we pull spliffs
Going through this everyday
That's why we trying to get our pennies up
Everybody trying to get hennied
Up ‘cause it's like we don't give a what
And I'm just trying to spit for my brothers
Living in struggles, just trying to get on
Always trying to rubble
You know when the cut strike an infection
What starts attack the vein as
We rush through the coldness
And hold this close to the heart
Every time I write
Trying to throw the dart with the aim
You know how we hold it down flowing
Everyday trying to go on
Trying to grow on, trying to flow
Never wrong
And we so close to getting there
But everybody still living in fear
And I'm just trying to
Get through these years
It's 2000-and-tree, everybody light it up
Everybody get lit up, that's for the culture
Yeah, zom-blaze, Megallah, how we represent
Looking at the stars, everyday getting high
Why, ‘cause it's like yo soon gonna die
And I'm trying to understand that
In a spiritual way
It's like I'm closer to God, anyway so
Yo everybody clap your hands
Everybody just clap you hands and understand
Why you live, why you give what we got
Blowing the pot
You know why you give what we got
Blowing a pot, you know why you live
Blowing the pot, yeah hip-hop
That's what we live for, for real