Rap Battle With Myself

Alright everybody
Welcome to this amazing rap battle
Today, our opponents will be
Big hamus on one side
And on the other side
Wait, am I reading this right? big hamus!
Oh boy

Yo, big hamus
I bet you got big hands
'Cause all you do is break things down
And after you break things down
You realized that you always make people frown
Aren't you, you're just a monster
Honestly, I don't think you could
Wait am I allowed to say that?
Aww, I'm not allowed to say that?
Ah, that's wack, c'mon
Alright, yo big hamus
You are just a loser
Honestly, I don't know how, you would lose her
I mean c'mon, it's never like...
Never like, who all is doing this?
Okay
Yo I'm 'bout to destroy you
I'm 'bout to employ you in the employment which is failure
'Cause you're a failure
Honestly, I don't know how you can sleep at night
Knowing that you'll never ever have any might
Honestly you're really stupid
Such a loser, woo!

Dang big hamus! That was kinda rude
Anyways, big hamus

Alright
Yeah big hamus, you think you can make fun of big hamus?
You ain't about to plan this
Like a bottle of Guinness
Alright, get it?
Like that bottle of Guinness, you're going down
Not, really well
Lake down, going down in Guinness just like a broken record
That's what you are, you're just a broken record
And you're stupid!
And you're a poopyhead!
And you're a big, big, fat, poopyhead! Djedd
Ooh, terrible burns?
I'm 'bout to show you off just like a fern
Just kidding, gonna burn you in the furnace, miss

Woof! That was pretty spicy guys
I don't know if there's enough room for me to be in here
Anyways, big hamus it's your turn again

Claim you're gonna show me off?
I can show myself off, man
I'm like a flower pot in the sand!
I got all the mans
Now listen up, not important
But I'm about to take you to Portland
And toss you off a building!
Like, seriously man what kinda rap are you building?
'Cause honestly I don't really understand what you're doing with yourself
You're kinda sitting around, making all these little songs
And you think you're so full of yourself
You're funny
'Cause you're a loser man
You're about to lose ananoda battle man
I'm a'mumbling
I can mumble like you
I can go humba humba hubalabaskabalabahaga

Ooh! Aw man, that was a burn guys!
You two need to like, chill or y'all are just gonna destroy the place
Alright, wait! A new challenger is approaching big hamus and big hamus?
What's his name? Noah?
Alright Noah, take it away

They say I rap monochromatic
But really I'm a maniac
You better run away or else
See I'm always kinda quiet and nice
But if you turn your back, I'll strike on you
And honestly I'll destroy both you big hamuses
You're lying in hammocks when I'm finished with you big hamuses
I'm the king, the pharaoh, call me Ramses

Ooh! Dang Noah! You came in like, destroying both of them
Are you, are you happy?
Oh yeah, I'm just gonna go now

Alright big hamus, it's my time to shine
I'm sick of this Noah guy, getting in the way
Just kidding Noah, you're a kinda cool
So anyways, I'm 'bout to destroy you
I'm gonna go off like a maniac attack
Honestly, I don't know what to say about you
'Cause you're kinda wack
You see, the fact that I can't think of anything
Is proof that you're really not worth anything
'Cause honestly sometimes you just
*vomits

Wow, that was kind of a weak verse dude
You could've, you could've actually, y'know, rapped
What do you mean I could've actually rapped?
That was a fire rap
Boi, that was FIRE, that was FIRE
Okay, well
It's big hamus' uhh, big hamus, turn?
I-I can't even keep track of y'all anymore
Can I just call you one and two?
It's one's turn

Hah, that's right! He called me number one, he knows what it is
You're getting destroyed, that's what it is!
I'm number one champion
While you're in the, uhh, lake, swimming
'Cause you're not winning
'Cause you're really just stiupid
And you're really dumb
You suck you're thumb
I bet you can't even write
That's why you freestyle, then you cry at night
Oh, wha, did I cut you a little too deep?
Maybe I shoud play some, piano keys
Oh no, did I offend you?
Did you make you go no thanks?
How's for this rap battle, you special snowflake

Alright, number two, it's your turn
You better, uhh, win or else you're gonna be number two forever
Okay, just do your verse, do your verse!

You're telling me to do my verse
And that's what I'm doing, you verb
You're doing your worst
When it comes to Phineas & Ferb
You're not even worthy of being Ferb
Except in your looks
'Cause you just look like a tube who does bad hooks!
On all the music and all the songs they write
How can you sleep at night?
Knowing that you'd never get in a fight
Because your songs don't matter, your songs are wack
Honestly, can we get, Bill Wurtz back?
At least he made good joke music
Let's be honest, you don't make joke music
You make me sit up and try to myself choke music
Wow I went off-beat for a second
Maybe you should learn your lesson
Maybe you should pay the pension
Maybe you should pay attention in class
Because of that, I'm gonna beat your...

Okay, alright, hold on now, you're not allowed to say that
Really? I'm not allowed to say that?
That's so stupid like, let me say it
No, I'm not gonna let you say it

Well this was a Rap Battle With Myself
I don't know why I recorded it
I honestly feel like it's kinda stupid myself, oh well
I'm not rerecording it
So if there's a ton of static, you're just gonna have to deal with it
Peace, skrrt